Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Funny, Funny, and Funny

So, I recently saw two movies and read one book (for which there is a movie I'm told) that were high comedy!

(1) Eagle Eye
Okay, so the acting was great - a little melodramatic but well-done. And the plot was interesting, though it has several holes. So, why was it funny? This movie was comic genius! You watch the entire movie thinking there's this elaborate and complicated plot going on with cyber-terrorists taking over America and plotting to kill the president and his entire cabinet and the terrorists are using some loser to do their bidding and just when everything is building toward the climactic crescendo.....the joke is on you. You find out that the 2 hours of mayhem you just watched is just some government computer trying to coordinate the arrival of a trumpet, a necklace, and the president and his cabinet in the same room at the same time. Whenever the computer wanted someone dead up to this point, she (the computer's name is Aria) simply flicked a red light to a green light and caused a traffic accident, or overloaded a major power line in a cornfield causing it to snap and Kentucky fry an unsuspecting Armenian. I laughed and laughed. 2 hours of insanity to get a trumpet and a necklace together.

(2) The Dark Knight
So, this was my second time seeing this movie, so this time I was able to focus in on Christian Bale's amazing "Batman Voice" the entire movie. This is acting at it's finest. I liked Brandi's suggestion best when she said, "If he couldn't come up with a voice on his own, why didn't they just dub in somebody else's voice in those scenes?" Apparently, Christian Bale's acting talents do not include "Other Voices." (Go here to see a hiliarious spoof of this voice http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NyzlElF96zY). I liked the Joker, although, this movie should be renamed, "How the Joker Can Escape from Any Situation. Ever." A room full of the cities crime lords and their henchmen? Line your jacket with hand grenades. A jail cell? Insult a cop until he comes over to beat you up and then disarm him and take him hostage. In case that fails, before you get arrested, cut open a guys belly who you are sure is going to get arrested and sent to the same jail you are, and put a bomb in his belly. Sew him up and trigger the bomb with your one "phone call." Bruce Wayne's apartment where a party full of the richest people in the world are wining and dining? Knock Wayne's friend off the roof so he has to dress up like Batman and dive off the roof to save her. Don't worry about building security or cops. Apparently, they're not concerned about this building or the party. And apparently, even though Batman has all of the highest tech gadgets, his security system for the building he lives in isn't good enought to stop the Joker. This movie is full of big time laughs. Unlike Eagle Eye, they thread the laughs through the entire movie. My favorite scene, though, is when the Joker is intimidating the room full of crime lords and he actually scares the crime lord from Hong Kong who is actually conducting the meeting via teleconference. He gets so scared, he hurriedly shuts off his camera. My second favorite scene is when the Batman punches the Joker's hand during the interrogation and the Joker doesn't even flinch (see it here on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ohU16OiduUs).

(3) Twilight (the book)
I really, really, really want to see the movie for one reason: Vampire Family Baseball in the Woods. This book is soooooo funny! Though Vampire Family Baseball in the Woods During the Thunderstorm is probably my favorite part of the book, the Meadow Scene Where Edward Runs in Circles Really, Really, Really Fast and then Unbuttons His Shirt and Lies in the Grass and Then Sparkles Like Diamonds in the Sunlight just to impress Bella is awesome! He also breaks a very large branch off of a tree with one hand and throws it across the meadow. Combine that with a 16 year old girl (Bella) falling in love with a 110 year old man (Edward), and you have teenage America chained to you for at least a 4 and maybe a 5 book series. With movies to follow. The most consistent humor, though, is in the 974 references to Edward's beauty. Edward is mesmerizing. He doesn't just dazzle you with his baseball skills, diamond-sparkles skin, mind-reading, and his awesome ability to drive really, really, really fast and not get tickets (never had one in his life), he is the most beautiful creature to walk the earth. And apparently his smell is intoxicating, too. Bella cannot resist him! You HAVE TO read this book! Honestly, it is the funniest thing I've EVER read. I'm going to give you a taste of the writing - this is a direct quote from the Vampire Family Baseball Game in the Woods chapter (by the way, this chapter comes to a dramatic close when 3 rogue vampires show up to the game and decide they want to eat Bella).

Emmet hit the ball a mile (literally).
"Homerun," Bella murmured in amazement.
"Just wait, " Vampire Mom said, almost in a whisper.
Edward disappeared into the woods and ran back out with the ball in his hand!
"What the?" blustered Bella, eyes wide in amazement.
"Out!" Yelled Vampire Mom.

Freaking awesome.

I'm told the future books have Indians that turn into Werewolves and you learn that giving birth to human babies is child's play compared to giving birth to...... a Vampire Baby!!


Bryan & Bobbie said...

I laughed through this whole post. I particularly liked the impersonation of Batman and Joker on YouTube.

Scott and Mandi said...

I completely agree with Brandi--throughout both Batman movies, I just couldn't get past the "Batman" voice. It drove me crazy. Totally stupid.

And Joe, if you laughed while reading Twilight, you're going to break a rib laughing while you watch the movie. It was pretty lame. That being said, I must come clean by saying I have read all four Twilight books and love them. I have no defense.

The Real Jim Heywood said...

Haven't seen the two nor read the one, but if they're as good as your post...

Brett and Sherrie said...

Well I am not afraid to admit that I liked both movies and the book (I did not like the Twilight movie)I don't need reality when I watch a movie just good entertainment. Most things in movies can't happen in real life anyway. -Sherrie

Brett and Sherrie said...

Although Brett and I did think that Eagle Eye ripped off it's idea from IRobot. Also, we're never going to be able to look at the Dark Knight the same way again.

beatleemma said...

I can't believe that YOU of all people read Twighlight. I don't even want to read it. I read 3 to 4chapters in and won't finish it. I thought it was boring, annoying, and can't stand Bella. All the things that you said in this post were hilarious.


johnsun said...

That was so funny Joe....I really didn't think a guy like you would be into Twilight. I have never read it. Maybe I will. I guess since you are David Archuleta and Ryan Seacrests biggest fan a little Twilight in your life makes sense. SUNNI

joeheywood said...

Speaking of Seacrest. Brandi had Idol on Tuesday, and I walked in the room in time to see Seacrest try to high five a blind guy. He held his hand up for at least 2 seconds before remembering the guy was blind.

I couldn't stop laughing.

Brandi and I watched Idol for the first time last spring from the Final 12 to the finish (well, I only watched pieces of the episodes in the final stages). So, Tuesday was our first time watching the "first episodes" of a season. Laaaaaaaame sauce.

The Seacrest high-five was hilarious, but I didn't return Wednesday night for Round 2 (Brandi did, though).

I'll wait until the Final 12 or so, and then jump on board. I like the singing, but the lame judging and all the stuff in between is tedious. Brandi bought me the David Cook CD for Christmas and we were thoroughly disappointed. All the songs sound the same.

Daniel and Karleigh said...

Looove Twilight myself. At least the several excerpts I've heard read. High comedy indeed.


Wendy and Gang said...

I read all 4 books in a week. You have to pretend you are 14 or 15 to really enjoy them. The werewolve aspect is pretty interesting...wait 'til the end of the 4th book...whacko!! Now I'm reading a more adult Patricia Cornwell book...gotta love Kay Scarpetta!